Friday, March 16, 2007

Feels like home to me. OK, well seems like home to me?

Steve’s dad is home now. This is great as I am sure he was tired of the hospital. I mean even at the end of the day at work or a long trip, there’s no place quite like home. And multiply that when I am not well or in pain and well, little red-shoed Dorothy had it right.

Hmmm . . . Home. What a concept. I mean as a Christian home is the hear after – Heaven. I believe this.

As a human being, home is also that place where I can ‘let my hair down’. But, it is so much more than that. And yet, as someone who has moved around a great deal, home is somewhat abstract. I mean for Steve he can say, “Winnipeg is home”. He was born there, raised there, and the vast majority of his friends are there. Should I live in Winnipeg 20 years this could never be true for me (and it should be noted that in fact Winnipeg, or at least Winnipeg and surrounding area, is the longest place I have ever lived). But, Winnipeg is not, nor will it ever be, home (I am trying not to apologize for this vow, because I do enjoy some aspects of Winnipeg, MB, but I gotta say, Winnipeg has nothing on the Maritimes - except jobs).

The Maritimes, and in particular Halifax, I have claimed, is home. Yet, this is still not entirely accurate. Though it is my favourite city I have ever been/ lived, it is no longer home. It has a definite place in my heart though. Nor is home where my parents reside (the booming metropolis of Coles Island, NB). Nor was it where I was born (Newcastle, NB – lived there maybe two years? Couldn't even find it quickly on a NB map). Nor is it really where I was raised or grew as an individual (all over NB, 8 months in Edmonton, AB, just over 2 years in Montreal, QC, about 3 years in St. John’s, NF, on and off in Halifax/Dartmouth, NS, as well as Barrie/ Toronto, ON, 1 year in southern California).

Home is truly then, where my heart is. Where I feel I belong. Where I feel connected and have some history or roots. But, my heart then, is divided. For my heart then is where my sister is, Toronto, ON, where my oldest friends are, Halifax, NS, where my closest friends are, Calgary, AB and Haiti, where my parents are, and where my husband is. As well, my heart is with the 48 million AIDS orphans in Africa (and should the Lord see fit, Steve and I will be doing work there in just over a year for hopefully 2 years– and then quite literally my heart will be with these children).

So home, eh? What an idea. What’s your idea of home? Or where does it feel like home for you?

On a somewhat related note, my dad said to me one day over the Christmas holidays that he and my mom were wrestling with where they should be buried when they die. Yes, a rather morbid discussion for Christmas, but I guess a practical one. Anyway, they truly are at a loss. Because my sister and I live away and they no longer have connections to their hometowns, they really have no one place that sticks out as the place to be buried. It's tough not having physical roots. I wonder if there are many others in such a state, what with the global community we now have? Hmmm . . . I imagine so.

2 comments:

Gypsy S. Nagra said...

Hi Gillian,

Sorry it took me so long to check out your blog. (I still can't believe you started it while in class!). I like reading your arbitrarily predictable thoughts, and as always, you make me think and make me laugh. The idea of "home" has also been cause for much thought on my part, espcially these last few years...and lately I have discovered that my identity in Christ far outweighs my dilemma of location. Being a child of God, I know where I come from, where I am going, and can live in between with a sense of security that comes only from Him.

I am still in Montreal, not where I was born, but where I grew up since the age of 1. I have no family left here, but for now this is my home. I do consider Manitoba a type of second home (2.5 yrs there), and hope to get back for a visit with "family" and friends someday.

I miss you, Gil. Keep those thoughts coming!

Love Gypsy

Tracy said...

I'm loven your blog, gillian....so deep!!! Hope to read another update soon.

As for where home is to me, it's tough. I grew up near Salisbury so I always list that as my hometown when I'm asked and I still say I'm going home when I go visit my parents (who still live in the same house I grew up in). However I've been in sussex for 9 years now and this is where I got married and have raised my 2 children so far so in a way this is home too. Weare moving back to Salisburyin a couple weeks and I wonder how long it will take for me to stop thinking of sussex as home.